Friday, August 1, 2014

A love message for the mother who saw red.

A love message for the mother who saw red.

This is it. Yesterday I was on the verge of falling apart tending to the needs of my daughter and at the same time trying to fulfill household, work and family needs. And suddenly my recent life flashed before me. Diaper changes, mind boggling laundry, midnight battles with weaning, taming tantrums, managing a work from home situation and more recently home work battles. And then I lost it. I screamed at my daughter for a passable mistake. I wanted to hide in a corner and cry but couldn't even do that in front of everyone.

But that was yesterday. Today, with a clearer head, I have a better perspective of things. Yesterday I was doubting whether I was cut out for this motherhood thing. I didn't think I was as strong as other mothers who seemed to tackle everything from tantrums to sicknesses with a calm that I so envy. Despite my husband's and family's constant support I just felt totally alone. Guilt ridden and alone,  let me tell you, that's a deadly mix to be in.

But here's the thing. Despite my outburst, my child still needed me like nothing happened.  She didn't need the angry mamma but her smiling, warm and caring mamma. She needed me and nobody else would do. I am writing this for mother's who find themselves in a similar situation.

So what is important about that moment of suffering is to remember that this is your journey and you chose it over other options available to you. It is your life together with your child and you've got to make it joyful for both. I mean hey, had you chosen another option who's to say that it wouldn't have come with its own set of imperfections? The ability to move through the tough moments and accept the beauty of life when it is not perfect is called living.

I found a mantra for myself that I'm going to use in such moments. Here it is

It is a bad moment, not a bad life,
It is a bad day, not a bad week,
It is a bad reaction, not a bad child.

Being a mother is being the light at the end of the tunnel for your family. The ability to see happiness where no one else can and keeping it intact today. That would really mean loving and accepting yourself with all your imperfections. And your child's too.

So the next time you are angry, turn to this mantra. Because you are what you exactly wanted to be, your child's mother.